Egotism is the anesthetic

"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." Ego, of course, can be both a good and a bad thing, but in this piece, I wanted to highlight one aspect of the ego that I believe is wholeheartedly bad:

Holding students back.

Recently, I have received messages and had conversations with individuals asking about training at the Koryu Kyudokan and attending seminars—on the condition that they could keep it quiet and stay out of pictures because their Sensei wouldn’t be happy.

My answer is always: “Well, don’t come then, or grow up and take control of your own journey.”

It has always baffled me why a Sensei would want to hold back their own students. Surely, the role of a Sensei is to grow and nurture their students and others to the best of their abilities.

So why would they stop them from growing?

Answer: EGO.

I have found that this kind of controlling behaviour falls into two categories:

If an instructor (I refuse to call them a Sensei when they treat others like this) runs a class primarily for financial gain, they tend to prevent their students from training elsewhere for fear they will find something better and move on—thus taking money out of their hands. In a nutshell, they put their greed before their students’ growth. Not a Sensei at all. I know of one such instructor who is hardly ever at his dojo, gets others to teach classes, doesn’t pay them, then occasionally turns up to collect the cash—usually conducting another grading, taking the money, and then disappearing again—leaving his instructors with the "honour" of running the classes for him! Then, if those instructors have had enough and leave, they are labelled as the scum of the earth. I used to feel sorry for his students, but now I only feel disdain, as surely they can see they are victims of this man’s ego and greed.

Some instructors (again, I can’t call them Sensei) fear their students will find something or someone better than them. These individuals build themselves up by criticising others, but deep down, they know there is better knowledge out there. They refuse to share it for fear of being exposed, afraid that the pedestal they have placed themselves on will crumble. They put their ego before the growth of their students.

The very essence of being a Sensei should be to encourage growth—for everyone, including themselves.

I constantly study and train to grow myself, but even more so to give more to my students. I push my students to study beyond what we do. I absolutely love it when one of them brings a new concept to the table for us to explore. If we attend a seminar—even if I am teaching—I encourage them to train with others, see different viewpoints, and grow. I invite others to come and teach at the Koryu Kyudokan to help us all improve.

A perfect example of real Sensei are Senseis Leslie and Steve Knight. They constantly invite others to teach seminars for them, attend seminars as a dojo, visit other dojos and styles to train and teach together.

Why? Quite simply, to grow—both themselves and their students. No ego, just pure, unselfish dedication. Real Sensei. Not just instructors or coaches, but true Sensei, committed to both their students and their own development. Sensei Colwell always drilled into me that a real Sensei should have a ladder on his back, never a slide.

If you are in a dojo or under an instructor who doesn’t want you to train elsewhere or is never there, then leave.

They are holding you back. You will either:

• Reach the level they are stuck at and stagnate (how many are still training and teaching exactly as they did 20 years ago?!), or
• Be held back because they want your money.

Either way, you have a choice: Leave and grow, or stay and be a victim of someone else’s ego.

The truth is... the choice is yours.

Written by Sensei Steve Lowe

YouTube:  @KORYUKYUDOKANDOJO

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